everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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