you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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