Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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