i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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