It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
