U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
