i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
