I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
