i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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