so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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