what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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