Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
