As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
