You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Let the clothes fall where they may.
ok first of all what the fuck
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
