At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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