is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I had to cum in my sink.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
