At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
