I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
