No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
