the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
