shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
