Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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