its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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