you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
