Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
