i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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