so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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