We won't sleep together?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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