Can Purell be used as lube?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sorry my hands just texted you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
