Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
