This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
