i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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