i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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