woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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