she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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