Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
