The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
