I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
love makes seman taste better
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize