I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
