i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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