8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
