Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
