I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
