Sry I called you an 8
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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