youre lurking in front of me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
