So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
