Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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