Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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