You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
