we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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