My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
