Acid is not a monday night drug
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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