Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
