i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
