as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
